The TotSpot

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Bag o'brownies

Hey there.. See now i know most if not all my posts been about rainy days and gloomier weathers. So here's something rather different then. Been wanting to share this incident with everyone even though i know it's kind of bad of me to do so. Still, if we all could spread a lil love from time to time, how about throwing a lil mischievious fun in the mix as well?

Alright then, the incident i wanna share with you guys actually happened to my mum's colleague(She's a cook). Every year at her workplace there's a medical screening\check-up, conducted in some posh clinic somewhere due to company policy.(There's a clinic near-by that they could just go to but no, they have to go all the way up-town, in the business district) So anyway, my mum had already went for hers and so do the rest, except for this 1 person. She's this 1 indian lady who started working about half a year after my mum. Even though she just started then, she had already developed quite a reputation for being the wicked witch of the workplace. Most of the people who came to eat there would have dark clouds following them whenever she's around. It's because she would yell and scream at anybody she sees fit, no matter who they are or what they do. Just a little mistake or even a question could trigger a fire and brimstone episode from her. Quite a Harry Potter denizen she could be. Pointy hats, flying broomsticks and all. Only my mum could hold her own twos with this lady, as she has a dragon in her throat as well. Believe me, i know.

So this 1 particular event happened on the day this lady was supposed to attend her medical screening. During the screening, they have to go for a few sample checks like blood, saliva, x-ray, urine and finally stool. Yes, not for the sitting kind.. You will be asked to 'go' in the toilet there and then collect bits of it for the sample check. Yeeesh.. So when it comes to the Indian lady, she just did'nt feel comfortable enough to 'do' it there. Decided to bring 'it' or 'them', fresh, straight from home. While she was walking, with her 'belongings' in her handbag(disposable i guess) to the train station near her house, some guy came from behind her and snatch it away. She tried to hold on to the bag but dude managed to wrangle it off her desperate hands and scooted away. Away with the bag. The bag with the 'goodie' or 'goodies'. There were quite a few people around but being the good citizens that they are, just stood there while she screamed for help and watched the hoohah happening before them instead. 1 of them had even told off the poor lady for not giving chase. Sympathetic indeed. She did'nt manage to produce another sample or samples but instead went to report the matter to the authorities.

By right, this is a bad thing that happened to someone we need to empathise with, as she had been a victim of a crime and all. But by left, i would pay a serious amount of cash just to see that expression on the guy's face as he open the bag he triumphantly 'acquired' and come across that one or a few things that should'nt by nature or every other's law, be in there. She only told her boss about the incident but due to irresistability, every1 else got wind of it. I guess now the whole universe. Poor lady. Evil me. Lucky you. Should know that this is coming but what else can i say other than, shit happens. Only this time its in a bag...

1:49 AM | 0 Comment

Friday, August 26, 2005

Sweet sadness of the unoccupied

Dissolved in time while chaos blends in the wind,

truth found in absolute nothingness,

only warmth in the silence of the mind,

warmth, like the view from the kitchen window,
sunshine & breeze are the best partners,

empty roads & swaying trees, close behind,

a silent jubilation, be it blithering singularity,

pain of the unobtained left it so,

cream, sugars, even blood are tasteless nowadays,

also, stickers peel off as their colours fade,

little red rivers running through them now,

the brightness hurts,

still, one last look(hold on),

and one last ponder,

only thing that is in order is mess,

only thing that is pure is the word itself,

only thing that is in love is hate,

only thing that is alive is now....

2:43 AM | 0 Comment

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Overdued end..

I am pissed off, world.. If i get anymore pissed, i might just turn green permanently and no amount of boxers, briefs or tighty whiteys can ever fit me. Looks like i'm about to lose a friendship. Now before all those ideas start evolving in your cerebrals, like Shaggy's song said, it was'nt me. At least i know it was'nt.. Was it?.. No. 1st of all, i have been the most patient friend ever to this person that i cut ties with. Anymore patient, and i will become a patient in a certain hospital somewhere, talking and laughing by myself with strait-jackets and all. Patience is a virtue, but too much will freakin hurt you. That so-called friendship was 11 years old. Pity huh? Some part of me would like to agree and another wanna kill off that other part for wanting to agree. So why all this anguish, bitter resentment at the poor old sap? Well for 1, he IS poor in kindness to other people that don't matter to him, he's slightly older than me but believes that he's 10 years younger(he's 27) and the arse of a man can really sap out the goodwill of those who could give a hoot about him. Shit, is this considered as gossiping? Ahhh, like i could spare a damn. Anyway, i'm pissed remember? So that should be ok, i think..

Years of friendship with the dude really takes the toll on my head. If i did'nt end that, then in a couple of years, this head will turn into an actual friggin foot-rest! So that grand final straw was when the dude used my extra handphone sim-card and could'nt eventually pay his share of the bill which has amounted to a lot. Still i tried to put up with this here because i knew of his then financial situation. Really had to struggle to simmer down when i thought about it. This was because i found out that secretly, he had been buying all sorts of stuff like an mp3 player, another handphone, ps2 games and more! All these while he claimed to be broke most of the time due to the house and utility bills, family and all his other could-be-avoided debts. Still when confronted with all these, he managed to find some 'virtuous' reasons as to justify them. Even had the slap-tempting cheeks to try and be mad at me for not understanding his situation. What friggin situation?! Oh, is it the tell me that he's broke 24-7, 365 but still manage to get himself leisure things like say, a ps2, mp3, new handphones every month and God knows what situation? Yeah. I understood. Even more when he drove that nail in further for saying that he thought i was his friend. So all those while, i was'nt being a friend for being there sacrificially looking gay'ish while he cried on my shoulders in freakin public after a bad break up, numerous amounts of yet to be settled loans, almost break my back while almost single-handedly helped him moved into a new house twice, helped painted his whole new house, watched his back from getting pummeled by his disgrunteled ex-colleagues and so on? If you insist then. Even mentioned to end the friendship a few times before during petty arguments.. If you should ever stumble upon this words my once good friend, know that even though it had turned out this way, my memories will not let all those happy moments fade. Still, the not-so's are the ones that started the cracks. Can't let you keep calling this a friendship when its actually an excuse to provide every ounce of convenience for your everyday life each and everytime. I may not be there for you always in the past and more so now, bro, but to me Izzy will always be my godson. Was there when he arrived to this tattered world, will be there for him til i leave it..

4:10 PM | 0 Comment

Monday, August 22, 2005

Somebody tryin to tell me somethin?!

Usually dreams will just whither away from memories. Even the significant ones. From what i heard dreams are just our sub-conscious way of dealing with issues in our lives. Most of which are just random, incoherent visuals like pieces of jig-saw puzzles being assembled together, forcefully. Some of the visuals actually are part of our memories and the more important sequences tend to be replayed in our dreams often. So why all these long-winded jibber jabbers then, you might ask?

Had this one dream recently and it manage to shook me up badly. As most dreams tend to be so realistic, this one was no different, if not the most realistic one to date. It was about the end of everything. End of the world. Now i know that we're not suppose to take dreams seriously, right? So how about having 3 of this dreams then? 3 different scenarios but all the same outcome. I remembered all of them well and one was a few years back. I watched War of the worlds recently and was freaked the jebizzles out by some of the similarities of the destructions. In that dream i had years back, i was walking around admist all the rubbles and chaos taking place. Besides that, most of everything around me were in red. Don't know why but thats what i remembered. Then when i was watching the movie, in the scene where Tom Cruise came out of the farmhouse to look for his daughter, i was just brought back to my dream. He saw that everything around him, all the way up to the horizon, was covered in red!

In another dream, i was running around lookin for my family when i encountered a family friend. I asked him if he saw them and he said that he did. He then sombrely told me to 'collect' them. So imagine running around aimlessly through all the destruction, with your ears almost bleeding from the screamings, and then having to hear from someone that you are alone in the soon-to-be-totally-desimated world. And in another, the latest one, i was in the house trying to stay on my feet from all the tremors taking place. Looked out the window and saw like a massive collective of tornadoes! There were even super huge ones that seemed to suck in everything near them, even the smaller tornadoes! All the buildings around mine started falling in the madness of it all. After that every one of my family was taken away by the strong winds in front of my eyes. The pain was felt for freaking real..

What was it all about then? Is my head in need of a good tune-up or is there something else? Some disturbing else..

12:51 AM | 0 Comment

Thursday, August 18, 2005

The iron wills n golden circles..

Blood, sweat, tears n... barf. Yeah that's rite. Not a pretty sight when all 4 of them came from some1 in a family oriented gym. Not when u are there to just reinstill that feeble sense of manhood week in and week out, or tell urself u can still lift a few plates more, squeeze in a couple more reps, run that extra mile on the treadmill and all the while, playing 'the eye of the tiger' in that dome.. No.. that's not ur average, friendly, family oriented gym user..

Been there, day in and day out... 6 months in the running.. Seen determined souls sweating their ass off in the pursuit of that 'perfect' physique. Seen those same determined souls determined not to appear there again.. Not really but just slowly and surely vanishing altogether. I try not to be 1 of them, again. So far, so good. Can't really remember when i was ever in a fit and healthy condition. Oh yeah, that was non-existent. Also tired of hearing the same voices every year, commenting about the weight i put on. Even when some of them are 'bigger' than me. F''' that, fatter than me. Yes, that's a 4-letter word. Fat.

Each time i'm there, there will always be a certain group of guys that's just a tad different from the rest. Not just because of their already impressive physique, but the air around them.. I've been there long enough to see that these dudes had built an obvious reputation in that family oriented gym. Eyes will always follow with awe, every work-outs, every sets and every reps. Now these are to me, regulars folks with the same passion as the next jack and joes in there. But what set them apart is that not so regular dedication. I mean you can just see it in their faces. Even had a tag for them. The Elites. Every1 thought they're a bunch of muscle-headed stuck ups. Was 1 of them til now. Kind of realised that it was'nt about being a notch above the rest, but the focus in them that shuts everything else out and just press on to add on. In there. Less talk. More focus. Higher intensity. Significant results. Downside? Lesser or nil friends. Who cares. Not really a singles bar ain't it?

6 months and counting. Can't wait to hear what the voices will say soon.
Voices: Hey man, you put on more... muscles??...
Me: Yeah.. U?

10:46 PM | 0 Comment

Macabre Aims

A dream indeed.. twin glocks blastin away the nite's treachery..the god of war could'nt handle such blasphemy..forgotten is the plight of my sanity.. as the burgundy river carries the souls of my enemies..

4:53 AM | 0 Comment

1st Flight..

My very 1st rambling on the net.. heh... nice.... i think..... here i am all wide, googly-eyed abt wat i'm gonna write, then suddenly, poof... blank, like the account in my bank.. its like 'E' in the thought tank.. all i can say or write now is dat der'll be more comin soon.. this is after all the 1st flight from the cocoon.. y the heck am i rhymin anyway?

4:12 AM | 0 Comment